A Flashback by Ben and Ed
(Color Coded for your convenience)
Ed & Kirwan Summer 2006
It was a rainy night out, i knew this because i was wet
my mind, as u can tel,l has a great way of working things out, as soon as i became wet that night, i knew that it must have been raining
so in summary, wet rain. i continued walking in a most forward fashion towards the bus stop. as i terminated my journey next to the metallic delight, i waited for my bus, in fact i waited, until the point where i realised . .
that the bus like most buses in ireland or anywhere in fact, wasnt coming, it was never coming, as long as i waited there the bus wud not come, thats the way it is usually. see the thing is public transport doesnt like me, it waits till i have had enuf with patience and decide to get a taxi, at which point five 46a's will fly by.....
i pulled up slowly to the taxi rank, and put the hand brake on my feet, i came to a screaching halt, and in the process alerted a few scobies to my position, they came towards me, their eyes bristling with poverty.
gis a shot of yer life, shouted the taller one, in terms of a tree, id say he most accuratly represented as an oak tree, he was tall and strong, and id say the wind would have a fairly ruff time uprooting him,
u see,knackers grow big because of their diet
which consists of duracel batteries, stolen bits of cars and pigeons. with a healthy diet such as this, this human battering ram that stood before me had grown accustomed to beating people rather than eggs in the morning....
and right now.....it was feeding time
give me a shot of yer life u little thick, he repeated,i stopped him in his tracks, eh sori.... thick, i bet u dont even attend third level education do u? do u know that after i complete my undergraduate degree, i will have a degree in medievil civilisation, put that in yer tracksuit and wear it. he looked at me with his eyes
'i'll have you know i have attended many colleges, yet none comes close to educating quite like the streets have' he replied, this was really not what my sophisticated and all knowingly superior mind was expecting. this man had a point, so i headbutted him right between the eyes, i wouldnt let society get in the way of letting this man be denied his say. i needed to supress his rights as a person
just then a taxi pulled a handbrake turn around the corner, taking out all the scobies in one fatal crunching swoop, sweet i thought, killed three scobes with one stone/vehicle. so i opened the entry hatch the the craft and got in, it had a smell not unlike that of oxygen, that had been left in a compartment with a japanese chicken that was dead, very dead, but this was a small price to pay for .
'where u goin mate?'
where?
trinners for winners u asshole
it was then i noticed i wasnt alone in the taxi, there was a rather unhomefull looking person sitting beside me, and to make matters worse i hadnt got into a taxi, it was a tax-he, which went on a one way course to the george
being a male from trinity i gladly accepted the journey at hand and a few hours later found myself at the top of grafton street wearing a tutu, that was 8 ladyboys later and i was fucked, where to go next?
yes how i panicked that night, good thing i ran in to them russians, they recognised my talents, they saw the potential that no one else could. im still wearing that tutu, and i am the premier male-ish ballerina in the russian provence of Crabcallashni, that nite will live forever in my brain and my body.
This was a segment extracted from the Bed time stroires
by Ben and Ed (Bed)
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