Halloween

Ed Halloween 2006

Halloween has always a fun time for all in my household, the uneasy presence of carved vegetables in the house ( or are they fruit?), the feeling of inadequacy at not finding the fabled razor blade in the apple and the annual debate to whether I was to dress up as a ghost or poltergeist was often interrupted by the fact that all were pathetic and would ultimately lead to the same goal the sweeeeeeeeets. I have to say though, it really is an odd concept which seems to give our children the idea that not only is begging the done thing, but its fun, talk about socio-cultural events leading to unemployment. Fireworks also feature heavily in the truly pathetic event that is Halloween, you are nobody if u cant create a loud, silent, unimpressive and generally disappointing bang using Chinese gunpowder, hey what a loser, right? Well when I was younger and more impressionable than I currently am, bangers seemed at the forefront of what I thought would be cool. So me and a couple of buddies went in to procure some magic bang sticks.

To me at the time town was just like any other place. Everyone at one stage doesn’t see people in terms of scumbag or posho, everyone is nice and friendly, aren’t they… no. So there was me and my troupe, standing out from the general henrys st. crowd like a sore thumb on a stick. Then some tremendously nice chappies came over to us and offered us the chance to purchase some over their finest explosive produce for the princely sum of only 6 pounds, oh fantastic thought me and me compadres. Oh poo, I only had a twenty pound note, but wait I’ll just ask these nice gentlemen here if they have change for such currency. Mistake number one. Oh yes, sure we do, just come down this lane and we’ll get you the stuff now. “Great Ed lets go buy them now” said my stupid friend Alex, who shall for now remain nameless. Hesitant to go down a lane, that could have been full of sick or aids I declined and sent the eager beaver down the lane, he returned with a look of indifference on his face “they seem to want to talk to you” so I headed down, mistake number 2.

Oh how inconvenient I thought to myself, while simultaneously thinking of the fun I would have exploding that cruel and mocking air, and teaching it a lesson once and for all. “Gimme your 20 pounds” the voice interrupted my gleeful thought of revenge on that carbon dioxide rich gas. Eh,,,, What twenty I said. The slightly taller and more impoverished of the gang, instructed his smaller and more homosexual dwarf friends to search my pockets, with their Well they found the twenty pounds, but hey I never wanted it anyway, they even left me my dart ticket home and my keys, bloody nice chaps. I was only joking about wanting those bangers anyway. I left town that day a more informed and developed humanoid. I was no longer a boy…… I had become…… an angry boy...

Ed now lives in a Cube

online since Jan 06

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