Midsummer Nights MURDER!!!

Ed 2006

Once upon a year, the coastal town of Dun Laoghaire becomes a melting pot of culture and a mixing bowl of musicality. As the summer draws to a close, and the sun goes to bed for the rest of the year, all sorts of everything decent on the suspecting citizens. There are acts ranging from music to dance, funny accents and even funnier hair chops. And last year was no exception, although, as the final night of funstival, the fun turned to . . . .murder

Me and the lads and the ladettes were in Luke’s having a few drinky poos, we decided that wetting our whistles would be a most frightfully decent activity so there we were ready for a night out on the town. . .painting the town red was an option alright, who knew it was to be with BLOOOOOOOD! We then walked out onto the green grassy area outside lukes house with a view to pollishing off our canitos of fine, well, that is, cheap beer. We were minding our own business and keeping to ourselves mostly when, as if out of nowhere, a mysteriously funny looking man appeared and in his hand laid a surprise, a surprise that was to change the tone of the night, and shock and appaul us for the next week.

Two of the more girly members of our crew suddenly called out

"OMG look he has like, a hamster in his hand."

This hamster had seen better times however, according to its ‘owner’ it had been in a fight with another ‘hamster’ and its nose resembled that of a Michael Jackson impersonator. And it was shivering. So, u may ask yourself, why bring a hamster to the beach at this time of night, well it wasn’t for a sand sculpture competition, it was to dispose of it, either to let it loose or to stand on it, he didn’t specify, we didn’t ask, we also weren’t too keen on his little plan either. And before we knew it the girlies had acquired the mammal, and before they could think twice about it, the previous owner was sprinting at full speed into the distance. What to do with an injured hamster? That was the question, after prolonged argumentation, it seemed that nobody wanted it. . This was a predicament

It was decided by unanimous decision that the hamster would be put in the makeshift 02 exhibition tent in the knowledge he’d be safe as ecoli in shit. Seconds later it was decided by unanimous decision that this was cruel and the hamster must be extracted, after minutes of searching the animal was reclaimed. However by this stage the night was dragging on, some people were not happy at all this stalling, they had come to party and they wanted to do it NOW. In the middle of our ponderings, Cailen approached us with a solution, not as popular as others but with a slight more conviction than the rest. He grabbed the bloody furball into his angry hands, marched over to the sea wall, and without warning decided to make the little fella seaworthy . . . I like to think that I saw the last look on the hamsters little deformed face, it was one of happiness that he was finished with cruel world, and also a look of forgiveness for cailens murderous actions.

Dear god.... what did we do?

Ed now lives in a Cube

the hampster man

O2 Tent, a fine home

Where the fuck is the hampster?

Cailean has an Idea

online since Jan 06

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